My First Time Sky-Diving

MY FIRST TIME SKY-DIVING

A Lesson in Faith, Courage and Endurance

By: Aman S. Dhesi

I had wanted to do it since I was sixteen, but could never bring myself to.

But this past weekend, I bit the bullet and sky-dived for the first time in my life. It was the single most terrifying, exciting and exhilarating experience of my twenty-nine years on this planet, so far.

For those of you that don’t know much about sky-diving, here is a quick overview:

Simply put, you jump out of a plane at an altitude of ten-thousand feet (thirteen-thousand-five-hundred, in my case) and free-fall for about sixty seconds before opening a parachute strapped to your back and slowly descend back to Earth. It sounds pretty straight-forward on paper but, as I’m sure you can imagine, actually going through with it is a completely different story and one that I want to tell here.

While this is mainly about my experience sky-diving, it is also about conquering your fears and realizing the three most important things you will ever need in life:

Faith, courage and endurance.

For most first-time sky-divers, such as myself, it is recommended to jump tandem. This means being strapped to a professional who jumps with you and is responsible for pulling and maneuvering the parachute during the descent.

We decided to do our jump at Harvey Air-field in Snohomich, Washington. It is approximately an hour-and-a-half drive past the U.S border and about fifteen minutes north of Seattle on the I-5.

The weather had been very cloudy earlier in the morning, but by mid-day, most of the clouds had burned off and the sun was shining bright in the blue sky. Perfect sky-diving weather.

After signing a five-page waiver (which I only partly read for fear of backing out at the last minute), we immediately went into training. Training consisted of watching a twenty-minute orientation DVD that showed in alarming detail all the steps involved in sky-diving. I had been pretty calm for most of the day until watching that DVD, especially when they described the part where you have to position yourself in the plane moments before you jump. Watching those people in the DVD, leaning out a plane thousands of feet in the air made my blood run cold.

Oh. My. God.  I have to do THAT?!

 It was at this point that the enormity of what I was about to do started kicking in. My friend could tell I was visibly rattled and asked if I still wanted to go through with it. I insisted that I would not back out, but I was so scared that I was ready to vomit.

After the DVD, we spent a few minutes practicing the arch position we would need to maintain during the free-fall and went over proper landing techniques. From there, we were sent outside to the loading zone and suited into jump-suits, helmets, goggles and met the professional jumpers that would be accompanying us.  I would be jumping with a guy named David, who has been jumping for the past fifteen years. Knowing that I was in the hands of such an experienced sky-diver helped to calm my nerves a bit and temporarily kept panic and fear from over-whelming me. I just tried to focus on the weather rather than thinking too much about what was to happen.

My reprieve from freaking out was short-lived because within a few minutes, they announced that our plane had arrived and that we would need to start boarding. In single-file fashion, we walked to the plane and climbed the steps to board.

The plane was a tiny Cessna that could hold a total of six people sitting on the floor. We got settled in and I tried my hardest to avoid looking out the windows too much. It was then that David announced that we would be the first pair to jump.

Gulp!

As the plane lifted off the run-way from Harvey Field and gained altitude, there was only one resounding thought that looped in my head:

Holy fucking shit, holy FUCKING SHIT!!!!!

I went from panic and terror to on the verge of suffering a meltdown. I looked through the rows of windows along the side of the plane and saw the Earth moving farther and farther away from us. Oh my god, this was actually happening! I was ACTUALLY about to throw myself out of a plane.

It is worth mentioning that for most of my life, I have suffered from an insane fear of heights. I'm the person that gets light-headed just standing on a chair. I'm too chicken-shit to go on most roller-coaster rides and when I do, I keep my eyes tightly closed.  And here I was about to voluntarily jump out of a plane and, likely, plummet to my death. What exactly was I trying to prove here aside from being completely and utterly insane?!  At some point, I remember David yelling advice and instructions to me as he fastened and secured the straps that would connect us during our jump. But I wasn't listening. My brain was not able to process anything that he said to me. All I kept thinking was:

Holy fucking shit! What the hell am I doing?!

I thought about the multi-paged waiver and the bold writing clearly stating that sky-diving is not a safe sport and the likelihood of being killed, sustaining major injuries and permanent paralysis are VERY high. My brain was not responding well to this situation and I started going into fight-or-flight mode.

Nuh-uh, I thought. Sorry, I don't think so. This is not what I do! I need to get off this plane. I am not jumping! It isn’t safe!

As I was about to turn around and explain to David that I wasn’t going to jump, I looked out the window again. We had just broken past cloud level and it was at this exact moment, a strange sense of calm overtook me. I was still scared to the point where I was about to cry, urinate and shit my pants all at once, but something else was resonating from within. Something that gently silenced the mind-numbing terror that I was feeling with a calm voice.

"Aman, you are going to do this" It said.

In my head, my crazy and scared self replied:

"I can’t. I’m scared."

The calm voice answered back:

"It’s okay to be scared, but you are still going to do this."

“But what if I die?” My scared self asked.

“Then you are going to die. Just have faith, courage and endurance.” The calm voice replied back.

Believe it or not, this, actually, made me feel calmer. I was still scared, but the simplicity that I was going to go through with this and it could result in me being killed was, oddly enough, calming. It’s not like I wanted to die or anything, but I also knew that I wouldn't find out what would happen unless I tried. This instilled some surety within me that I was going to do this. All I needed was faith in myself, the courage to act and the endurance to follow through.

Faith, courage, endurance, I said to myself and kept repeating it.

I was scared, but I kept repeating this line in my head and it helped calm me. It became my mantra for the remainder of our ascent into the sky.

I looked outside the window and instead of panicking, all I thought was:

Wow, this is really high and so scenic and pretty.

A few moments later, I was interrupted by a tap on my shoulder. It was David.

"It's time." He said.

Instantly, some internal remote control switched off my brain. I was no longer thinking, just moving. David told me to move forward. I moved forward. He told me sit parallel to the jump door. I sat parallel to the jump door. I was like a robot operating on command. David reached over and released the handle to the door that would we would be jumping from. The door rolled up, I looked out and felt my heart sink as the calmness quickly left me.

A strong and powerful wind filled the plane and the sound of the engine was so loud that I could not hear a thing. Small clouds dotted the sky below us and far (and I mean, FAR) below that, I could just make out the faint outlines of the ground.

"Okay!" David yelled over the wind and the engine. "Swing your feet out."

With some sense of indomitable will-power, I managed to silence the terror that was stirring inside of me again and forced myself to pivot so that my feet were dangling outside of the plane. The wind was so powerful and strong that it caused them to sway wildly in the sky.

"Grab on to your straps!" David yelled.

Dutifully, I placed my hands on my shoulder straps in a criss-cross fashion. I looked down and saw nothing but my feet dangling over the edge and beyond that the never-ending sky. David started pushing me forward so that only my tailbone was still on the floor of the plane. My feet were now perched on a tiny step on the exterior of the plane. The wind and the engine were so deafeningly loud that it silenced my ability to hear and, gratefully, to think.

"Tuck your head into my shoulder!" He screamed over the engine. The force of the wind was growing ever stronger. I tilted my head to the side and tucked it into his shoulder savouring the teeny-tiny sense of security this gave me.

"Stand on your feet!" He yelled.

The wind was so strong it threatened to pull me from my dangerous perch. I could feel it zapping me of any courage I had left. The monstrously loud engine made me want to re-coil back into the plane. But I commanded myself:

Stand on your feet Aman, stand on your fucking feet!

I stood to my feet, the wind took me and I fell.

The first few moments were a dizzying blur of wind, somersaulting and being tossed and turned by mercilessly in the sky. When I opened my eyes, I was falling head-first towards the Earth. From my vantage point, looking at the ground was similar to looking through a camera that was spinning and jerking left-and-right. Everything was out of control, coupled with a strong wind that was ripping through me, screaming through my ears, flapping past my flailing limbs and sending me spiraling in every direction.

"Arch!" David screamed. He sounded so tiny and far-away even though he was strapped right behind me, thrashing amidst the power of the wind just as wildly as I was. Amidst the chaos, disorientation and noise of free-fall, my cognitive senses picked up his voice and sent it firing through the synapses in my brain which sent out the following command to my body:

Arch Aman, fucking arch now!

As I was trained to do, I spread my arms, raised my legs and as gracefully as possible, arched my back. My head lifted and I could see nothing but clear blue sky and a vast horizon in front of me.

Don't you dare close your eyes, I thought to myself.

The actual sensation of the free-fall did not feel like I was falling. Rather, it felt like I was floating and being carried by the wind. Being that high up, the sensation of gravity must be different because I didn’t realize I was falling until I noticed a small cloud far below that was getting closer very fast. It was at that moment that my brain comprehended that I was, in fact, falling thousands of feet in the air (at a speed of approximately 180 km/hour). We were losing altitude very quickly, the Earth was getting scarily close and that damn cloud was rising up to meet us far more quickly than I wanted it to.

All of a sudden, I felt a violent jerk that pulled me upwards. The parachute had opened causing us to go flying up about eight metres. The sudden movement upwards felt like being thrown out of a giant slingshot. This was scarier than the free-fall because the jerking sensation from the parachute opening caused a feeling of weightlessness which made me feel like I was falling even faster. I gasped in fright, broke my arch position and hold onto my straps for dear life. The powerful wind stopped and everything slowed down.

 "Are you ok? Can I do anything?" David asked urgently. He was aware this was my first time jumping.

I didn’t reply, only gasped and mumbled incoherently trying to catch my breath. I was dangling from a pair of straps with nothing but a parachute ten thousand feet in the air.

"You ok? Can I do anything?" He asked again.

Being this high up, I wasn’t too sure what exactly David could do for me. I looked down and saw the Earth getting closer, but still thousands of feet away.  I answered with the first thing I could think of.

"Tell me a joke." I replied breathlessly.

We both started laughing, more out of adrenaline and fright than anything else. He told me some lame joke that I don't remember and from there, I allowed myself to relax (as much as I could) and let go of my straps and held out my arms. Because we were now descending slowly, the wind had slowed to a light breeze. I could feel it moving past me, calming me and allowing me to actually enjoy my surroundings. I could see the entire expanse of Snohomich County, Seattle and beyond. The sun shone above us, the sky was a magnificent blue and all below me, I could see the vast stretches of valleys and mountains of the Pacific Northwest. It was breath-taking, stunning and awe-inspiring all at once.

Wow, I thought.

I didn't say much. Just took in the scenery as we descended and within seven minutes, I was lifting my legs up into landing position as the parachute lowered us back onto the sprawling grass of Harvey Field. Next thing I knew, I was sitting in the middle of the field with a giant parachute falling in front of me and being unstrapped from David.

When I stood up, I was a bit shaky. Within minutes, the realization of what I had JUST done started dawning on me causing me to cart-wheel, cheer and whoop in celebration. I felt so much adrenaline and was shaking so much out of joy.

I just jumped out of a plane! Holy fucking shit!

After that, I shook hands with David and given a certificate that indicated I had jumped from an altitude of 13,500 feet. Wow! With that, we said goodbye to our fellow jumpers, returned to our car and drove back home.

On the drive home, I didn't talk much because I was pretty contemplative.

It wasn't the fact that I had just sky-dived, it was the fact that I had just faced one of my worst fears and didn't break or suffer a meltdown the way I thought I would. Like I mentioned earlier, an eerie sense of calm came over me in those last few moments leading up to the jump.

It made me realize, for the first time in my life, that I am far more courageous and gutsy than I have ever given myself credit for. It also opened my eyes to the fact that I need to trust my instincts, follow my gut and have more faith in myself. I now know that I can handle myself if ever in a stressful situation and that I can rely on my instincts. But most importantly, I didn't let fear dictate my actions.

Now, I compare what I did this past weekend to the many things that I fear in my life and it makes me laugh because they all seem so trivial. If I can throw myself out of a plane from thousands of feet in the air and survive that, I can survive anything.

Furthermore, I also learned that my emotions do not dictate my actions, so there is no need to let myself get overwhelmed when shit hits the fan in my life. All I need is faith in myself, the courage to act and the endurance to follow through.  And in the end, that is all we will ever need in life:

Faith, courage and endurance.